Another Bloody Destination Wedding

It’s been coming for awhile. First there was the excited text message, high-pitched squealy phone call and gushy FaceBook message to announce that they were engaged. Then there was the over-the-top engagement party complete with belly-dancers, DJ and expensive Moroccan finger-food. Now we have received the ‘Save-the-Date’ card.

And it’s another fucking destination wedding.

Thankfully this one isn’t in Switzerland. It’s in Dunsborough (a highly popular coastal town in WA’s south-west wine region for those inter-state and overseas readers). In December. In fact, it’s the first week of the school holidays.

Crap.

End-of-year summer school holidays means every town along the WA coast is jam-packed with kids (and their parents), dogs, caravans, overseas tourists and ice-cream van owners.

Crap.

So six months before the wedding, Husband and I are looking for somewhere to sleep for two nights in Dunsborough or the surrounding areas (but not too far away – midnight driving and unlit country roads makes me a bit uncomfortable). Last night we visited the websites of at least a dozen accommodation spots. All (well, those that weren’t already booked up) quoted above $350 a night. We need to stay for two nights. That’s over $700 to go to someone else’s wedding.

Crap.

Oh, did I mention that the wedding is on a Friday, so Husband has to take two days of annual leave to attend?

Crap.

And we have to go because, once again, it’s Husband’s family member and we’re already getting a reputation as “the mean boy and his horrible wife who don’t attend weddings.” (That might be because they’re never in Perth! Although that doesn’t seem to matter to anyone…) Dunsborough is only 3 hours away so we don’t mind driving down. We DO mind paying $700 for a hideous little room in a place that has NO facilities. (When I say “facilities” I’m not talking about a luxurious pool or health spa, I’m talking about things like bed linen and kitchen facilities!)

Crapping fucksticks.

So people – if you’re planning a wedding, and you want family/friends to attend and not be mighty pissed off with you then for the love of god DO NOT make it a destination wedding!!!

It’s Alive

We did it yesterday. We hit the “Make public” button on our blog which is called The 2nd Edition. (When I say “our”, I mean Husband and myself.)

It’s still a little empty (as is our Twitter account), but over the next week, we’ll be building up the stories and there will hopefully be 3-4 great news stories posted each day.

This is the spiel from our “About” page:

Welcome to The 2nd Edition.

As avid news readers the one thing we’ve noticed over time is that there are an abundance of amazing, interesting, diverse and intelligent stories that are invariably hidden away behind the day-to-day run-of-the-mill stories on politics, disasters, death and celebrities.

This is where The 2nd Edition comes in.

Here you won’t find the standard stories you can find on any mainstream news site but rather those stories that, whilst published, are never going to end up on the front page of a major newspaper or website. The stories that make you want to know more – more about the people, the places and the cultures that make up our world.

Each day we aim to bring you a handful of amazing stories, articles and reports from reputable news sources around the globe to make you realize just what else is out there.

***

The two editors of The Second Edition are a husband-and-wife team who live in Perth, Western Australia.

At the moment, Husband and I are focusing on news stories that we find fascinating – things like art, history, science, nature and human rights issues. But what do you find interesting? What news stories do you want to read more about? If there anything you don’t want to read about? Leave me a comment below and help us find the path for our new blog.

If you’d like to read it, you can find it here (and if you follow and leave regular comments, I will buy you a NEW CAR!!! Okay, not really, but it would be really great if we weren’t so lonely over there…) We’re also on Twitter – don’t be alarmed if we’ve added you, we’re just trying not to be Nelly-No-Friends over there.

I’ll still be blogging all my personal crap here and tweeting the usual not-very-well-thought-out crap on my @PerthWife account, but both Husband and I will be tweeting from @The2ndEd so you might get to know him a little.

PS: Be gentle with him – he’s frightened of technology.

Perth Life – Lake Leschenaultia

Welcome to a new series of posts written by myself and Husband. We decided recently that we were bored of spending our weekends doing the same things, and also of hearing people say that there was nothing to do in Perth. So we decided to combine the two, get outside and explore the places that make Perth a great place to live.

We started off with Lake Leschenaultia as we had very limited time to spare on this sunny Sunday afternoon. The drive from our north-eastern suburb took about 50 minutes and traffic was very light. When we got to the lake, there was plenty of parking but on a hot day in summer, I can imagine it would be quite busy.

We went for a gentle stroll along the edge of the lake and breathed in the aroma of cooking sausages and onions from the on-site barbeques – there were a few large groups with some pretty amazing looking picnics! We found the canoe shed where people can hire canoes and watched a mum and dad teach their kids how to paddle a canoe. I’ve made Husband promise to teach me how to paddle a canoe because it looked like fun.

After our stroll, we stopped for a cup of tea and a biscuit. The kiosk was reasonably priced and the tea was pretty good (and the biscuits were enormous). We sat at a bench and spent a happy hour chatting whilst people ate their picnics, kids played at the nearby playground and we were stalked by some water birds hoping for a crumb of my biscuit. There are plenty of picnic tables and lots of shade – it was only 25 degrees on the day we went, but in hot weather that shade would be beautiful and very needed.

There are a few walk trails around the lake and the water was cold and clear – there were plenty of people swimming and jumping off the diving platform. The only consideration with swimming at the lake is the risk of meningitis if the water temperature reaches above 28 degrees – something that would be quite rare and would only happen after a very long and very hot spell during summer. (Edit: One of my Twitter buddies @LisaWalkerRox says the Shire actually shuts the lake if the water reaches a dangerous temperature.) 

As I said before, we only had a short time to spend at the lake but next time – and there definitely will be a next time – we’ll spend a lot more time there. It was a really relaxing place and if we go back with our bathers, a picnic blanket, some sausages to cook on the barbeque and a couple of books it will be a great way to spend a Sunday.

Travelling times:
From Perth City – 52 minutes
From Joondalup – 57 minutes
From Fremantle – 1 hour, 6 minutes
From Mandurah – 1 hour, 23 minutes

For more information on Lake Leschenaultia, you can go the Shire of Mundaring website.

A Small Announcement

For awhile now, Husband and I have been looking for a joint hobby that doesn’t involve renovating or trying to get knocked up. We’re fairly quiet, insular, non-athletic (well, I am anyway) people. I like ballet, he likes football, neither of us like early mornings. But there is something we both love, apart from each other. (Sorry for that nauseating phrase. ;p)

Writing.

Both of us write novels and screen plays. Some of the most fun evenings we’ve had has been editing an epic Russian novel he’d written before he met me (which needed a lot of work before being sent to publishers and literary agents). We’ve written a TV series on Burma and a film set in Africa. We’ve written about the United Nations and global crime. We’re interested in different countries and cultures.

We’d been discussing those things we love a few weeks ago when we were trying to think of a joint hobby. And suddenly it clicked. Stories about the world – about people and places and history and animals and amazing things! That’s what we love!

So that’s what we’re going to do. We’re going to create a blog together – one which will highlight the amazing, diverse, intelligent and astounding news stories and reports from around the globe. It will not be full of death and politics and celebrities. We’re going to bring you the stories that should be on the front page of the newspaper (or major news websites) but aren’t because the main news sites are too busy telling us what Kim Kardashian is up to.

The blog will be launched in a few weeks and it will be called The 2nd Edition.

An Open Letter To Prime Minister Gillard

Dear Ms Gillard

I’ve never written to a politician before. I don’t really know much about politics so forgive me is anything I say is a little too simplistic.

I’m worried.

I’m worried that you don’t have much time left as Prime Minister. Which is a shame, because I think you’re pretty awesome (despite the fact that I don’t agree with all of your policies). I think you’re strong, I think you’re determined and I think you’re gutsy.

But there are changes that need to happen in Australia. Changes which I fear will not happen if you don’t win the next election.

We need equal rights for all Australians.

This includes allowing same-sex marriage and allowing same-sex couples to adopt children (which is only legal in some of Australia’s states and territories).

Australians want same-sex couples to have the same rights as everyone else. I believe you can do something to make this happen. Stand up for your people! Do something memorable! Do something which will make people remember who you are and what great things you did when you were Prime Minister!

We all know an Abbott-led government will not allow same-sex couples these rights so if something doesn’t change soon, then who knows when it will change.

I do not believe in discrimination. Surely allowing one part of our Australian population to marry and adopt and telling the other part “Too bad” because of their sexual preference is discrimination? There will always be hateful people who say that allowing gay people to marry and adopt children will ruin the institution of marriage and family values, but I don’t believe that allowing more love into our communities is a bad thing.

Ms Gillard, please make the necessary law changes and let this happen soon, before your chance is gone.

Yours sincerely
PerthWife

Just Be

It’s official – Husband and I have decided to try to have a baby.

We are both thrilled and excited and shit-scared at the same time – we both have no idea how to look after a tiny little baby who will change life as we know it and depend on us for everything. Every now and then, when we’re cooking dinner or pulling weeds out of the cracked concrete which (unfortunately) covers our front garden, one of us will say to the other, “So we’re actually doing this?” The other nods and then we both laugh.

It’s surreal to think I might get the chance to grow another human being inside my own body.

Now, rest assured I won’t be taking my temperature in the hopes of conceiving in the first month. It doesn’t bother us if it takes a while to conceive. Now that we know everything that could possibly go wrong, we feel we can take things at our pace, rather than one dictated to us by the public health system.

Since we received the obstetrician’s last letter, it took a few days for the results and prognosis to sink in. A 35% chance of having a healthy pregnancy followed by a healthy baby is frighteningly low. But it’s not 0%. We have a one-in-three chance of getting what we want.

Some things are worth the risk.

We have not discussed if we want all of the screening tests done during pregnancy or what to do if we find out if the baby has severe medical complications. We will discuss those things eventually. Because that’s what Husband and I do – we talk about things until we’re blue in the face.

I also want to organize a will – just in case.

But not yet. For now, I just want to enjoy this time in my life and not think about the things that can go wrong. I don’t want fear and anxiety to infect what should be a happy and (relatively) carefree time in our life.

I just want to be. Be present. Be quiet. Be still. Be silent. Be happy. Be in love.

Just be.

The Results

It’s been a hugely emotional week. On the weekend I was very, very blue – the fact that I STILL hadn’t received the results of my ultrasound was on my mind. It also marked 18 months since I came to the realization that I wanted to become a mother. 18 very long months of discussions with Husband, discussions with my GP and then that agonizing wait for an appointment with an obstetrician. It felt like my life was on hold and it was really getting me down.

But today, the letter came with the results of my ultrasound.

It states exactly what I already knew – that my uterus is wonky. (There is a technical term that was used, but to me, it’s just wonky and lopsided). The obstetrician is confident that if I can remain pregnant until the 16 week mark, then the rest of my pregnancy should be okay (if you don’t take into account the blood gene mutations.) However, the first 16 weeks will be touch-and-go.

She also embellished on the blood test results. Apparently one of those mutations (the one that causes neural tube defects, Down’s Syndrome, cancer, etc.) means I’m going to have to take 5mg (that’s 10 times the dose usually recommended to pregnant women) of folic acid during pregnancy and a low dose for the rest of my life.

At the end of the letter are the words, “I have not made any further appointments.”

The obstetrician does not need to see me again until I’m actually pregnant. The wait for an answer is over. We can officially start trying to have a baby.

So there are the answers in black and white in a crumpled letter from King Edward. I’m super-duper extremely high-risk. There’s a large chance of having a baby with a neural tube defect or Down’s Syndrome. I have a very high likelihood of recurrent miscarriage during the first 16 weeks.

Despite the rather confronting results, I’m actually very relieved to have ANY results. I feel like I now know this pregnancy road is going to be long and bumpy with no guarantee of a healthy baby at the end of it. But at least I know. I can plan. I can prepare myself. I can come to terms with it. And I can work at not getting my hopes up in case I do get pregnant, because the chance of a normal healthy pregnancy with a normal healthy baby at the end of it is down around the 35% mark.

I’m going to have to work at the whole “not getting my hopes up” thing if I get pregnant, but right now – with all the cards on the table and knowing the risks – I’m okay.

Hell Is Made Of Concrete

Husband and I have been talking a lot about our future lately. I suppose it’s been kick-started by the whole “getting pregnant” fiasco (which is still ongoing). But this particular discussion has been a good distraction to the can-we-can’t-we-have-babies talk that has been hanging about for over a year now.

It’s to do with our living arrangement. The house we live in isn’t a very nice house. When we purchased it, we were filled with enthusiasm about how we’d re-landscape the backyard, rip out the kitchen and replace it with something sleek, burn the avocado-coloured bathroom suite and put in something white. And whilst we’ve been working on this house for years (and throwing money at it which just seems to disappear) it still looks pretty crap.

It’s one of those live-and-learn situations – I now know that I never want to renovate a house again. I don’t have the skills, patience or energy. Husband agrees with me – he’s completely over living in a house which isn’t what we want, doesn’t suit the way we live and is not a place we want to stay for the long-term.

So we’ve been talking. A lot. About money, about what we really want in terms of a house, about long-term life plans. What we really want is to build a house – we’re tired of cleaning up someone else’s mistakes, dealing with someone else’s shoddy workmanship and living in a house which has only a teeny tiny bath and no cupboards. Yes, we’re lucky – we could afford to buy a house in the first place. I know that, and this house could be a nice home for somebody. But it’s not for us. Just like skinny jeans, smoked salmon and pine furniture – it’s not to our taste.

Our current options are to buy land, build a house and sell our current place ; get in professionals to completely overhaul our current house, extend a little and put some windows in so we don’t feel like we’re living in a dark cave ; or do a few more minor changes ourselves, get this house up to a standard that’s liveable, then save like crazy over the next 5-8 years and try and pay as much of this mortgage off as possible.

Option one – the buy land/build house now would be great. As close to instant gratification as you can get when it comes to building a house. We have always wanted to build our own house – one we can raise our children in and stay in for 25 years. (Yes, it’s entirely selfish and materialistic to want to build a nice house so don’t feel you have to point that out in the comments.) But building within the next year or two would push us financially. It would also mean a lot of compromises – the things we want (such as a lovely big kitchen) would probably end up being small and made of ugly laminate rather than quality materials which would last 25 years.

Option two – getting professionals in to renovate our existing house and make it less like a 1970s cave – could potentially be more expensive than building. And the stupid stubborn council will most likely say “No” to any major structural changes. And we’d still be left with things like a front yard full of concrete (seriously, who puts CONCRETE over their entire front yard?), a backyard with a really massive shed which we’re struggling to remove because THERE’S ONE-FOOT-DEEP CONCRETE UNDER IT and another few dozen other little things which bug us. (Mostly to do with concrete. Oh, and beige window frames – hate those!) We worry that renovating will make this a nice(ish) house but it still won’t be the kind of house we’d love.

Option three – waiting 5-8 years to pay off as much of our current mortgage as possible then buying land and building the house we want is not quite the instant gratification route. But we’d be better off financially. (Probably.) This is most likely the path we’ll take – we’ll do a few more minor things to this house such as build some storage, replace the broken doors and possibly pull up the concrete in the front yard, then we’ll just sit back and save our pennies.

Yes, as I’ve stated above, wanting a nice new house is selfish and materialistic and I know I’m going to get a lot of comments bashing me because of that. But you know what, my blog, my thoughts. I’m not going to apologize for wanting a nice house. (Just as other people shouldn’t apologize for wanting dozens of pairs of designer shoes, sixteen children, seven useless university degrees or anything else that their heart desires – unless, of course, it is illegal.) I know a house won’t make me happy. But renovating isn’t making me happy – neither is tripping over the Christmas tree box to get to the box where we store our linen (because we have no cupboards so it has to live in a box) and having no natural light in the house. (There are more patios (concreted in, of course) than there is house!) A nice house with natural light, ample storage and that is easy to keep clean would make me happy.

********

PS: For those of you curious as to what we think a nice house is: three bedrooms, two bathrooms, one large living room, a big kitchen/meals area, a laundry (a necessary evil), lots of storage and lots of light. We don’t want a living room, family room, theatre, study, office AND activity room. A second living area would be a luxury but it’s not necessary. Most importantly, we’d like a large garden for our children to run about and play in. Perhaps that makes us old-fashioned (as well as materialistic?)

 

Ultrasound Day

My ultrasound was yesterday. It was not fun. Firstly, I had to drink 600ml of water an hour before my appointment.

Mistake #1 – drinking 600ml of water.

Mistake #2 – drinking it an hour before my scheduled appointment.

Whilst 600 millilitres of water may not sound like a lot, when you aren’t allowed to wee it out it can get quite uncomfortable – even painful as the bladder stretches. When I was initially scanned, the sonographer couldn’t see a thing because my bladder was too full and obscured everything. Apparently well-hydrated people (which include me) should only drink 250ml of water. That would’ve been great to know earlier….

My appointment was at 9:30. I was required to drink my water at 8:30. So I did. And then the KEMH ultrasound department ran late. Very, very late. I was scanned at 10:45. I nearly cried in the waiting room – the combination of pain from my bladder, the stress of having to have this done, the screaming babies in the waiting room, watching people who came in after me get scanned before me and the fear that if I had a wee then I would be told there wasn’t enough water in my bladder for a proper scan and I would have to wait another 7 weeks for an appointment was all just too much for my tiny brain to cope with.

I got a bit crabby with Husband whilst we were waiting. (The poor bugger.) And Husband got crabby with the ladies on reception who kept telling him it wasn’t their fault the hospital scheduled too many patients for the number of sonographers they had. (And whilst we were waiting, one sonographer had a visit from her sister and disappeared for an hour, another staff member would pick up files, move then two metres down a corridor and then five minutes later move them back again and two more stood in the hallway and had a loud giggly conversation for 25 minutes.) Normally that sort of thing would be a tad annoying; in the state I was in, I wanted to throw something at them. Or wee on them.

The scan itself went okay – the external ultrasound was more uncomfortable then the internal one because the sonographer had to put pressure on my abdomen during the external. (But then they sent me for a wee before doing the internal one. I think it was the most satisfying wee of my life.)

The scan shows my uterus is misshapen – smaller on one side and larger on the other. There was also an “abnormal shadow” which didn’t sound positive. The pictures will get reviewed by someone higher up the radiography food chain before being passed on to my obstetrician. I’ll have to wait for a letter from my OB before I know if my uterus will cause any problems to a pregnancy or if the “shadow” is anything sinister.

I’m glad it’s over and done with, although I feel very mentally tired and weary. I was incredibly stressed all weekend and was worried about the scan – I’ve not been sleeping well and the tension I’ve been carrying around with me has left me with headaches and muscle aches in my shoulders and neck.

I think I need to learn how to relax….

High Risk

I know, I’ve been away for awhile.

At first, I was taking time away from technology. Living life without worrying about blogging, moderating comments and interacting on Twitter. It was a nice break.

Then last week I got a letter in the mail from King Edward (that’s the main maternity and women’s health hospital in WA for those not living here) and I feel like I needed to share.

My obstetrician wrote to tell me that something abnormal was found in the blood test I had back in January.

I have a mutation. Two genes apparently got fucked up when I was conceived. This mutation was found in the blood test after the OB started asking questions about my uterus and periods and decided that something didn’t sound right to her.

This mutation will mean daily injections and an increased risk of having a baby with Down’s Syndrome, neural tube defects (an abnormality in the brain or spine including things like spina bifida), certain types of cancers and anencephaly (a birth defect where the brain and skull don’t form properly) among other horrible sounding things.

I am at risk of pre-eclampsia, placental abruption, recurrent pregnancy loss and giving birth to a small low-weight baby. I’m also at risk of developing certain types of cancers, blood clots and, when I’m older, dementia.

My chance of miscarriage throughout the nine months could be as high as 40%. The risk of a neural tube defect is 20%. I am officially deemed “High risk” when it comes to pregnancy.

To be honest, the news hasn’t really sunk in yet. I know these are all bad words, yet I somehow feel a bit disjointed from it. I look at those words and feel a bit confused and a little breathless. Then my brain pushes them to one side and I start thinking about what I have to cook for dinner or when I should go to the post office.

I don’t know if this changes things or not. The thought processor in my brain is broken.