Don’t Assume

Lately there has been a lot of crap floating about the tabloids and across Twitter. None of it good, useful or kind. I’ve seen women tearing shreds off other women for not doing what they think is “right”. It’s not “right” for Lisa Curry to have a baby at 51. It’s not “right” for Taylor Swift to have lots of boyfriends. It’s not “right” that Nigella Lawson is letting her husband get away with physically abusing her in public.

Don’t assume you know what’s going on in other people’s lives.

Don’t assume Lisa Curry is using someone else’s eggs to have a child at 51. She could be using her own. After all, women MUCH older than 51 have fallen pregnant naturally. A family friend got pregnant naturally at 49 last year. She spent the entire 9 months in a state of shock and she was very uncertain and scared about having a child so late in life. But she did, the baby is perfect and she is in love with a gorgeous little girl.

Don’t assume Taylor Swift is a “slut” (damn I hate that word!) simply because she’s had more than 3 boyfriends in her 22 years. Has it occurred to people that maybe blokes don’t stick around because maybe she doesn’t give them what they want? Maybe she loves being in love? Maybe she just likes sex? None of that is a crime and none of it deserves judgement.

Don’t assume that Nigella Lawson hasn’t filed a police report after the weekend’s horrific events. If you were famous, would you want the whole world to know that you were in a violent marriage? Would you announce to the paparazzi that you were just popping down to the police station to file a report? Whilst there are NO excuses for violence, there are (very occasionally) reasons – perhaps he has dementia or a mental illness and she feels it’s her duty to stick by him? Or perhaps she feels compelled to make the marriage work no matter what?

These statements aren’t necessarily my personal opinions or thoughts. I’m just trying to say – don’t believe everything you read, don’t assume you know the intimate details of other peoples lives and don’t assume it’s okay to perpetuate rumours.

Celebrities live under a microscope. There are thousands, sometimes even millions, of people just watching and waiting for them to do something “exciting” like hook up with an A-grade celebrity, go through a nasty break-up, have a baby out of wedlock (oh the horror!) or leave the house without knickers on.

Let’s put me under the microscope: Husband has physically manhandled me out of a cafe when I was having a panic attack – it looked pretty brutal to other people, but I need to get out of there and I could barely move. If I’d been stalked by the paparazzi, then I’m sure the headlines would’ve read “PerthWife in abusive marriage!” Husband and I have also had a fight in public. It didn’t turn physical, but we didn’t like each other very much at the time. We’ve also had some uh… quality married time in a semi-public place. I regularly leave the house with no knickers on. Then there have been my weight issues where I got fat, lost weight then got fat again (thank you insomnia meds!) Very exciting stuff if I was Kim Kardashian. Not so much because I’m just a dull overweight wife from the suburbs.

I guess my point is, nobody looks good under a microscope. And you know what, most of the time it’s none of our goddamn business what other people get up to.

As my grandmother always used to say, if you don’t have anything nice to say then keep your lips zipped.